There is Freedom In Being Unoffendable

In our last blog, we discussed what true security really is. I shared that for me, ultimate security is knowing who I am, or Whose I am, which ties back to self-awareness. Self-awareness, the awareness that I am a child of God, is both security and freedom, together.

Today I want to discuss how that freedom can be expressed by being unoffendable. Being easily offended is a sign that you’re allowing other people to have power over your feelings, and that is not freedom.

Working to become unoffendable is a very concrete way to practice what you learned in becoming self-aware. There are core hurts in your life that cause you to react in certain ways to certain stimuli, usually in anger.

A great example of that for me has been driving in traffic, and getting mad because someone is in front of me driving 30 mph in a 40-mph area. The fault lies with me for being late in the first place, not them. It’s not their fault I left late, it’s mine. I was late to a meeting last week and was stressed out. I’d been sitting at the bank processing a deposit for far longer than usual, then I realized I was out of gas and had to stop and fill up, and because of that, I had 8 minutes to make it across town. You can guess how well that went.

As I drove down Bell Street, it seemed like everyone around me was going 10 miles an hour under the speed limit. Maybe they were, or maybe that was just my perception; in either case, why would I give them the power to upset me because they were driving slow? I remember sitting there, offended and frustrated, and then laughing at myself when I realized what I was doing. It really is freeing to let go of offense by knowing who I am, and why I reacted the way I did.

I have a business partner who was on a call with me and another colleague. This colleague was, for some reason, trying to pick a fight and was trying so hard to offend and get him to react. Marcus calmly refused to take the bait, instead just carrying on with the meeting as if nothing offensive was said. After the meeting I was telling my other business partner, Chris, about what had happened, and he asked how Marcus had handled it. I told him that Marcus was unoffendable. Chris, surprised, asked me, “How does someone become unoffendable?”

Becoming unoffendable ties back to the power of self-awareness—knowing who you are. Being offended or unoffended takes a decision. You are deciding whose words matter to you enough that you would be offended by them. Be careful when you choose who has that power in your life because when you make that choice, they better be a very key person in your life. You’re giving them power over your life when you are offended by their words. Part of becoming self-aware is going through and recognizing places and people who offend you, and learning why.